I am releasing this piece even though some part of me feels it is unfinished. Most likely, it is because God isnāt finished working in my heart and thoughts surrounding these things. Yet, to share a glimmer of my soul and spiritual journey is vital since sometimes I hesitate to release a piece, striving for it to hit just right, but then it loses its authenticity. I pray you know my heart, and I hope you will walk away knowing more about my journey in the Word. Thanks for reading in advance.Ā
I love my dad because he remains my father in the faith. He sharpens me, and when I have questions about God or struggle in my walk, I can call him, knowing he will give me a word, not his opinion but the Word, which often confirms what the Spirit has revealed.Ā
Recently, I had a question about suffering. Iāve had numerous conversations with people and discovered that we all have unique experiences in our exile here on earthāan Emmas Road adventure with Jesus filled with twists and turns, mountaintops, and valleys, and there are various types of suffering.
My experience seems kind of odd because though I've walked through trauma, much of my suffering has been the battle of the mind. It almost always surrounds a revelation of Christ, then an accusation of pride or self-righteousness concerning the understanding granted. Why do I beat myself up for seeing Christ and His beauty? Hereās the thing: it isnāt me.
It is like the wrestle between Jacob and the pre-incarnate Christ, where the Truth exposes unbelief, experiences, and expectations attached to this temporal life: the tap on the hip shifts when one comes into contact with eternal Life.
As of late, my suffering is almost always a result of the word of God being sown. And I donāt say this as bad; I am acutely aware of and feel led to share. Interestingly enough, after speaking with my dad, I was led to these words penned by the apostle Paul:
āSo to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,Ā a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.ā 2 Corinthians 12:7.
A great many saints have had much to say about this thorn. I want to share my thoughts before we go further. I do not believe this was a physical pain. However, it may have been at some point, rather the spiritual wrestle that ragged war on the battlefield of Paulās mind. The intense battle that comes from having a revelation of Jesus made available through the Gospel and the righteousness of God within it. I believe there is such a monumental truth of its importance; therefore, knowing it carries such glorious weight and expressing that with passion and zeal without seeming puffed up takes GRACE, wrapped in humility.
I can only imagine the fiery darts and suggestions thrown at Paul because of the glories he had witnessed. It reminds me of the Mount of Transfiguration, the difference being that Peter, James, and John didnāt initially hold tightly to what theyād witnessed or heard, as evidenced by the Scriptures immediately following; the revelation would be much more apparent in their later epistles.
Paul said it was given to him to keep him humble because of what He had seen, the revelation of Jesus that was given to him.
āThree times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, āMy grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.ā 2 Corinthians 12:8-9.
Friends, I wholeheartedly believe that many Christians experience glimpses of His glory, beauty, and loveliness and, therefore, undergo silent persecution. I believe the Holy Spirit didnāt point to something specific because we all suffer in different ways yet for the same underlying reason. Paulās words were given to us because the Holy Spirit would continue to lead us, the Bride of Christ, to drink from the fountain of revelations about Jesus as we wait for His return.
I know that whenever the Lord gives me a revelationĀ ofĀ Him,Ā ofĀ His glory, there is almost always, if not always, an immediate attack that comes to steal the most important thing I could ever possessāJesus (the Word).Ā And the crux of my suffering comes at the thought of losing even a tiny morsel of Him in the spiritual warfare. And I don't believe I am alone in this.Ā
There is great warfare and persecution that comes to every believer, but I don't think we understand the depth of the anguish that is woven into the warfare. I believe it's minimized in that it is labeled warfare, and the tendency is to think it isĀ onlyĀ warfare and nothing else; that is suffering that comes the humbling. To be honest, Iāve dismissed it, not considering it a form of suffering because it isn't tangible or physical, although very real.Ā Again, I believe this happens at least for me because I have compared suffering, and because this type doesn't present with physical symptoms, at least not initially, it isn't thought of as a form of suffering.Ā
Walk with me a bit...
Sometimes, I feel disconnected because I am unsure how to walk in what I have received. I am excited to have received it, but it is like, āWhat do I do with it?ā I am learning to simply soak in Him and wait on Him. However, sometimes, it is hard not to share; maybe this has happened to you.
At other times, discouragement comes because I feel utterly weakened by something so good to receive. I know when this is happening because I describe it as a sense of melancholy: weird, vaporous flow back and forth within the neural pathways yet afflicting an assault on my soul.Ā Yes, it is odd, but I now realize this may be one of the worst types of suffering because it is frightening to feel as though you are losing your mind and all because of a tiny yet powerful Seed sown into the soil of the heart.Ā
It can be challenging to cling to the threads of hope when the revelation of Jesus is the cause of life, and it feels like it is spiraling out of control. If it hadnāt been that His vast mercies and Grace met me in these hollowed margins, assuring me I did hear what He said and that what He said was true because of His faithfulness in the past, my faith would have failed in the present. Often, my prayer when this occurs is āJesus keep me,ā and I am reminded of a powerful verse in Jude that I am being kept.
āJude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James, To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ:ā Jude 1:1. Ā
Oh, these words are balm for my soul.
Let me be clear: I am in no way minimizing the incredible suffering among believers to their physical bodies. I hold space here and now for anyone who is experiencing pain, loss, loneliness, brokenness, or a broken heart. I hold space for those experiencing financial lack and loss of shelter, food, and clothing. Jesus is with us, and Holy Spirit hold us. Amen and Amen.
My point in writing this is to uncover what the enemy considers the pearl of great prize; therefore, it should be of utmost importance to us.Ā
Scripture Meditation.
āNow when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, āWho do people say that the Son of Man is?ā Matthew 16:13.Ā
āAnd they said, āSome say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.ā Matthew 16:14.
āHe said to them, āBut who do you say that I am?ā Matthew 16:15.
āSimon Peter replied, āYou are the Christ, the Son of the living God.ā Matthew 16:16Ā
āAnd Jesus answered him, āBlessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.ā Matthew 16:17Ā
When we travel back to the beginning in the Garden, we see the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (our own way that is coming under the devil's influence) and the Tree of Life (coming under the Lordship of Christ).Ā These same two trees exist today but in the spirit. Ā Therefore, each day, we choose which tree we will feed from, and this is important because it is knowledge of Jesus, digestion of His Person, drawing from the wells of salvation that is the Source of life.
Our Scripture meditation points to this monumental truth. The Church is being built on the revelation knowledge of Jesus Christā the LORD our righteousness, nothing else.Ā Knowing Him, what He has done, and what He is actively doing in and through us because of His Spirit at work makes all the difference in our lives spiritually and experientially.Ā We are admonished to keep the Main thingāthe main thing.Ā There is the Way, it is only through the Cross.Ā Jesus saves, and it is His blood alone. We cannot add to or take away from it; we can only cling to it and pray for a revelation from Him in the midst of it.
Logos.
My dad reminded meĀ thatĀ the entire Bible is Logos, the word of God, but it is a revelation of the Person of Jesus that shifts everything, bringing precision and clarity, and we need the Spirit to reveal Him.Ā
Consider theseĀ three critical seeds given in Jesusā Upper Room Discourse:
āBut when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.ā John 15:26.
āBut the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.ā John 14:26.
āWhen the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.ā John 16:13.
Beloved, it is all about Jesus. It is all about the Word being unveiled to us.Ā
Warfare is a Different Kind of Suffering.
āBlessed are those who are persecuted for righteousnessā sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.ā Matthew 5:10.
We often think of the persecution as coming from outside, but what of the persecution from within? The accusation and condemnation that comes from the enemy. The thoughts and suggestions are indeed fiery darts and fierce foxes that attempt to lure us from the Garden of His love and the revelation of His Person. I also want us to remember that even the fearĀ of persecution by others often begins within our minds, creating a narrative. This is not to say there is not an absolute and credible threat to life for the Name of Jesus for many of our brothers and sisters in the faith, only to make us aware that there is something, someone that is so subtle trying to get us to drift from what weāve received especially when it comes to the Word.
The battlefield has shifted to our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. The enemy comes firstĀ to steal. He must steal the Word so that we can give him access toĀ RestĀ and peaceĀ and everything else that is a part of theĀ inheritanceĀ we've been given through Jesus's finished work.Ā Remember, nothing is insignificant in the word of God.Ā Look at the order of the words here because it is important āø āThe thief comes only to stealĀ and killĀ and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.ā John 10:10. (Boldface mine).
In Christ, weāve been given kingly and priestly authority, but if we don'tĀ covet the wordāthat is, Christāwe can be flippant with what we say based on what we believe, thereby giving access and surrendering authority to the enemy toĀ killĀ and destroy. Ā How do we know this is his plan? Look at our first parents, Adam and Eve. The deception revolved around one thing only: the Word.
āNow the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, āDid God actually say, āYou shall not eat of any tree in the gardenā?ā Genesis 3:1. (Boldface mine).
The enemyĀ has always challenged the word of God, because it reveals the will of God, activates the authority of God, and institutes the power of God. Ā
He tried the same thing with Jesus in the wilderness. But Jesus knew he didnāt have to prove anything. He heard what the Father said, and he believed him.Ā I want us to notice the temptation came after God the Father gave this word concerning Jesus,Ā āand the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, āYou are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.ā Luke 3:22 (Boldface mine)
The assault from the enemy came after the word was spoken and he was challenging what God had said. And it is no different for us today.Ā When the Word is sown, the enemy is quick to strike. Often so quickly, we don't even realize that it is the word he is after.Ā
āThe sower sows the word.ā Mark 4:14.
We've been bamboozled by thinking the enemy wants to kill and destroy us,Ā and he does. But first and foremost, he desires to steal the word, and as the children of God, we must give him access to the word like Adam for him to make a move on us.
We can be so caught up in the last two, that we fail to see the importance of the first oneāthe Word. Take for example, the parable of the sower, notice the first type of soil.
āWhen anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path.ā Matthew 13:19. (Boldface Mine)
It focuses on receiving revelation knowledge. When we don't have revelation, it is as though the word sits on the surface of the heart rather than penetrating the soil. Ā The word can be stolen when we don't receive it; a better word might be welcome the revelation. My point: the important thing when God gives revelation is to hold onto it! The enemy will fight to get us to deny what we heard, the promise. Don't; God said what He said and will be faithful to do it. Many blessings are forfeited because we fail to believe what God said.
The enemy slithers in, and we are clinging so tightly to the things in this life... status, titles, money, hustle, even our very lives, yeah... all the things that reveal our priorities, our hearts. When what the enemy is after is the Word in us.Ā
āAs for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.ā Matthew 13:20-22.
Interestingly, the enemy prioritizes the Word oftentimes even more than we do.Ā
āAs for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.ā Matthew 13:23.
Oh, and the preciousness of the Gospel; it is sweet to the taste and packed with power that alters the trajectory of destiny for eternity.
āFor I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, āThe righteous shall live by faith.ā Romans 1:16-17.
These words penned by the apostle Paul are so rich. I pray we understand them and come to a fuller understanding of Him.Ā
Final Gleanings.
When we look, we discover the devil desperately wants to be God, but he can't. Since he cannot thwart God, he goes after those made in God's image. He goes after that which God treasuresāus.Ā The devil doesn't want our things; of course, he will settle for those tiny spoils from war, but letās remember: he is the god of this world.
He wantsĀ the WordĀ because it is the only thing that brings him to nothing in our lives. He seeks to steal the Word, knowing that without the revelation of Jesus, we become natural and then rendered ineffective for the Kingdom.Ā
Does it change where we believers spend eternity? No.Ā But it can capsize our faith, mar our testimony, and cause us to live small lives, unable to walk in ALL Christ died to give us.Ā
My dad reminded me of something so simple: Don't entertain him. When the thoughts come, cast them down and keep it moving. Often, our questioning leads to a conversation, just like Eve. Questions arenāt bad if we bring them to God. But if we toil in our own minds or wrestle with the enemy, therein lies the problem, hence suffering, albeit of the worst kind.
āThose who have grace in them, who have the evidence of it, and have it in exercise, have wisdom in them, which will be their help in the worst of times.āāMatthew Henry.
Let us Pray
āThat the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.ā Ephesians 1:17-23 Ā Amen and Amen
Biblical Journal Prompts āThe Sower & The Seedš±, Suffering, & the Snakešā:
Meditating on the Word
ā¢ Ā Reflect on Matthew 16:13-17 where Peter recognizes Jesus as the Christ. How does the revelation of Jesus being the Son of God change your perspective on faith & suffering?
ā¢ Ā Journal about a recent time when the Spirit revealed the word of Christ to you. What opposition or attack did you face afterward? How did it challenge your beliefs?
Recognizing Subtle Suffering
ā¢ Ā Write about a time you felt disconnected or despondent in your faith. How did the enemy attempt to steal the Word from your heart?
Spiritual Warfare
ā¢ Ā In Mark 4:14, the sower sows the Word, but the enemy quickly attempts to steal it. What are the distractions or suggestions in your life that have made you doubt or lose focus on what God has spoken?
ā¢ Ā Journal how you can guard the Word of God in your heart. What steps can you take to prevent the enemy from stealing what has been sown?
Persecution from Within
ā¢ Ā Reflect on 1 Peter 3:14. How have you experienced suffering for righteousnessā sake, especially internally? How can you strengthen your heart against accusations from the enemy?
ā¢ Ā What thoughts or lies from the enemy have challenged your identity or understanding of Godās Word?Ā How can you remind yourself of the truth in those moments?
Jesus: The Center of All Things
ā¢ Ā Meditate on Ephesians 1:17-23. Ā What comfort and power does this passage bring to your heart and mind?
Casting Down Thoughts
ā¢ Ā What thoughts do you need to cast down today? Write a prayer asking God to help you stay focused on His Word.
ā¢ Ā Journal about the importance of not entertaining the enemyās suggestions. What are some specific areas where youāve entertained thoughts that werenāt from God? How will you respond differently moving forward?
Jesus as Our Example in Suffering
ā¢ Ā Reflect on how Jesus was tempted by the enemy in the wilderness immediately after God affirmed Him as His beloved Son (Mark 1:11). How does this parallel your experiences of receiving revelation followed by an attack? Journal about how Jesusā response to the enemy in Matthew 4:1-11 encourages you in your spiritual battles
.ā¢ Ā What can you learn from Jesusā steadfastness in identity and truth? How can you apply His response when faced with lies or accusations?
Coveting the Word of God
ā¢ Ā Reflect on Colossians 3:16: āLet the word of Christ dwell in you richly.ā How are you currently making space for the Word to dwell in you? Journal practical ways you can prioritize the Word in your life.
ā¢ Ā Consider a time when you neglected the Word, and the enemy gained a foothold. How will you guard your heart moving forward?
Spiritual Authority and Warfare
ā¢ Ā Reflect on the authority given to you in Christ as part of His body (Ephesians 1:22-23). How do you see yourself using or neglecting that authority daily? Journal about an area where you need to step into that kingly and priestly authority.
ā¢ Ā How does the enemy seek to distort or steal your understanding of your spiritual authority? Write down any lies or doubts youāve believed and replace them with the truth of who you are in Christ.
Guarding Against Deception and Distraction
ā¢ Ā You describe how deception and distraction are tools the enemy uses to keep us from seeing Jesus. Reflect on Hebrews 12:2, āfixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.ā What distractions or deceptions are currently keeping you from seeing Him?
ā¢ Ā Journal about how you can refocus on Christ when these distractions arise. What scriptures can you meditate on to help you keep your eyes on Him?
Rejoicing in Suffering
ā¢ Ā Meditate on Romans 5:3-5, which speaks about rejoicing in suffering because of the character and hope it produces. Journal about the fruit God is producing in your life through your current trials. How has your faith grown deeper through the mental or spiritual battles youāve faced?
ā¢ Ā What does it mean to you to suffer for the sake of Christ? Write a prayer asking God to help you see His purpose in your suffering.
Understanding the Accusations
ā¢ Ā Reflect on Revelation 12:10, which calls the devil the āaccuser of our brethren.ā How has the enemy accused you recently, and how did it affect your walk with Christ?
ā¢ Ā Journal how you can better discern between conviction from the Holy Spirit and accusations from the enemy. How can you respond to these accusations with the truth of who God says you are?
Victory in Christ
ā¢ Ā Reflect on Romans 8:37, āIn all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.ā How does this promise of victory shape your approach to spiritual warfare and suffering?
ā¢ Ā Write about how you can live in the reality of being āmore than a conquerorā even when facing subtle, internal battles. How can you shift your mindset from defeat to victory in Christ?
Discerning the Enemyās Strategies
ā¢ Ā Reflect on Genesis 3:1, where the serpentās first strategy was to question the Word of God. How have you experienced this tactic in your own life? Journal about specific moments when the enemy caused you to doubt or question what God had spoken to you.
ā¢ Ā How can you prepare yourself to recognize and resist the enemyās schemes? What spiritual practices (prayer, fasting, study) can help you stand firm when the Word is attacked?
I hope these prompts encourage deeper engagement with the nature of spiritual suffering and warfare, help you connect personally with scripture, and help you apply the truth to your daily struggles. I pray you will be rooted in the Word and guard against the enemyās tactics.
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